Spoon by Spoon
Here they all are. There’s no order, other than I wrote the first one first and the second one second…. you get the picture. If you fancy going back to the start of all of these, then head for the bottom of this page. But don’t feel obliged to, you could just as well rummage around and read what you like.
The relative size of things
The time we spend thinking about something often doesn’t match its importance in our lives. If we parked all our worries in a line, they would stretch to the horizon. When is the ‘eat by’ date of the yoghurt? Did I use the wrong title on the presentation? Should I smile more at the check-outContinue reading “The relative size of things”
Being a frog in a well
Count the number of times I’ve included Japan in my blog posts and you’d think I was in love with the place. Japan appears every few weeks – here on regrets, here on career advice, this on the power of words, one on having a calling and here on the strength of letting go. I use the word “appearing” as I’m not doingContinue reading “Being a frog in a well”
Why we’re always learning
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” The author of this saying is lost to the mists of time, although it’s routinely attributed to The Buddha, the Chinese text The Confucian Analects, The Theosophics, or even Tao Te Ching (in a longer form): “when the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready,Continue reading “Why we’re always learning”
Being lost and also found
Who doesn’t love a horror film? Me actually, but many people do. Why do we snuggle up on the sofa to watch gore? Why do we invite terror into our homes? Isn’t life stressful enough anyway? Christian Jarrett wrote about this in The Psychologist magazine. “Fear coils in your stomach and clutches at your heart. It’s anContinue reading “Being lost and also found”
When life is two sides of the same coin
The expression “two sides of the same coin” refers to things that seem different but are actually related; tragedy and comedy for example or love and hate. According to The Cambridge Dictionary “violent behaviour and deep insecurity are often two sides of the same coin.” The Longman Dictionary has “great opportunity and great danger areContinue reading “When life is two sides of the same coin”
Why I’m better than him, but worse than her
Gaussian Curve is the name of a music trio – an Italian, a Dutchman and a Scot. I’m not starting with a culturally insensitive joke though. The direction I want to take is a mathematical one; the statistical Gaussian Curve from where the band takes its name. A Gaussian Curve describes the normal distribution of things,Continue reading “Why I’m better than him, but worse than her”
Words, schmerds
“’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.” Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll, 1871 Words are funny things. They’re a jumble of letters and sounds which intrinsically don’t mean anything. A few words are onomatopoeiac – the ones that sound like the things theyContinue reading “Words, schmerds”
How to change by not changing at all
Margaret Thatcher was the UK’s Prime Minister from 1979 – 1990. In her party’s October 1980 conference, she said: “You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning!” She was hitting back at those who wanted to force her hand, to get her to change her mind. She stood firm, despite the concernContinue reading “How to change by not changing at all”
Money, money, money
“I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay, ain’t it sadAnd still there never seems to be a single penny left for me, that’s too bad” ABBA, 1976 Agnetha, Björn, Benny and Anni-Frid grafted for decades before they made it. Their break came in 1974 at the EurovisionContinue reading “Money, money, money”
Waking up from unmindfulness
Here’s a bit of Greek mythology that I discovered the other day. In Greek legend, Lethe is the River of Unmindfulness, one of five rivers in the Underworld. The river winds around a cave where a character called Hypnos lives and anyone who drinks from Lethe’s waters forgets everything that went before. As is the wayContinue reading “Waking up from unmindfulness”
Choice is not always our friend
Ever found yourself rooted to the spot? Overwhelmed by choice, unsure what to buy? 30 sorts of cooking oil, 23 brands of shampoo, 15 types of eggs. The issue is not what. It’s which. Renata Saleci is a Professor of Psychology, Psychoanalysis and Law (an interesting combination). This is her talking about the paradox ofContinue reading “Choice is not always our friend”
Why eating salad isn’t enough
I’ve just finished reading Sherry Turkle’s Reclaiming Conversations – Power of Talk in a Digital Age. Turkle is a Professor of the Social Study of Science and Technology at MIT. She’s spent 30 years studying people’s relationships with technology and her book is a great read. But if you haven’t got time here’s a summary: putContinue reading “Why eating salad isn’t enough”
When science is art and art is science
When I rocked up to a school chemistry class my teacher would sigh. I was good at English and history, art and music. But I was terrible at science. Physics was within touching distance if I really stretched. But chemistry? However hard I tried, I couldn’t work it out. Physics interacted with the world IContinue reading “When science is art and art is science”
Industrialising food and people: why it needs to stop
There are 300,000 edible plant species on the planet. Yet 60% of our plant-based calories are from wheat, corn and rice. The United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization says that 75% of our food is made up of five animals and twelve plants. And we’re losing plants all the time. Since the 1900s, 90% of the US’s native fruit andContinue reading “Industrialising food and people: why it needs to stop”
Why this isn’t the time to set resolutions
Rain, rain, go away, Come again another day. Rain, rain, rain. It’s been falling for days. I look out at the leaden sky as huge raindrops pound the windowsill and bounce heavily on the grass outside. Will it ever stop? I’ve been indoors for weeks. OK, two days, but it feels much longer. I giveContinue reading “Why this isn’t the time to set resolutions”
When giving is really receiving
With the Christmas holidays upon us, my mind turns to gift giving. I thought I’d share with you a particular type of present: a Chewbacca present. This is something we buy for ourselves under the guise of buying it for another. The name comes from the first Chewbacca present. It was selected by my husband in the late 1970s.Continue reading “When giving is really receiving”
The importance of Friends (not the sitcom)
Brown. It’s the colour of the 1970s. This is my family, all dressed up in 1974. My father an embodiment of brown, from his beard to his suit, and the rest of us with our hair, the shoes, the cushion. Even the dog is on trend. Brown is definitely à la mode. My mother andContinue reading “The importance of Friends (not the sitcom)”
Why the steep road is less travelled
Shaun is in his mid 50’s, a successful businessman and consultant. He’s also one of my Spoon by Spoon interviewees. In recent years he feels he’s lost his way a bit in his career and when we caught up months ago, he was in a reflective mood. Shaun shared lots of stories about his life.Continue reading “Why the steep road is less travelled”
How our strength comes from letting go
Every year 20,000 angry earthquakes shake the planet. If you’ve never felt one, it’s a disturbing experience. I was in New Zealand years ago during a mild one. Even that was really unsettling. Many severe earthquakes live up to their name. When the earth literally quakes, so do we. It’s fundamental to our confidence toContinue reading “How our strength comes from letting go”
Why there is no light without the dark
Here’s a multiple-choice question. How is Paloma Faith, the singer, songwriter and actress, connected with Chinese philosophy? a) Did she date a Chinese philosopher called Zhang Wei? b) Does she originate from China? c) Like Chinese philosophy, is she two thousand years old? Or, d) None of the above?* Answer: It’s d). I’ll explain below. Continue reading “Why there is no light without the dark”
Why we are supposed to sing and dance
Thank you, Tim, for introducing me to Alan. Hello Alan. Alan can’t hear me because he’s dead. Sorry, it’s true. He died in 1973. Yet his ideas are as fresh as a daisy, despite pushing up daises. I trust he won’t mind my irreverence as Alan Watts was a Buddhist and a philosopher. He alsoContinue reading “Why we are supposed to sing and dance”
What I say is not what you hear
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw During the Korean War, a British army unit was holding a hill above an important river. But the British were on the back foot, surrounded and increasingly becoming outnumbered by the Chinese army: eight to one. The BritishContinue reading “What I say is not what you hear”
Four simple things we need to thrive
Air, water, nutrition, sleep. It’s what keeps us alive. It’s all we need. OK, I agree life wouldn’t be so much fun without the donuts, wine or Netflix. But we would endure. Survival experts use the rule of ‘threes’: we can live for three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks withoutContinue reading “Four simple things we need to thrive “
Why sometimes we need to crack to let the light in
“Can’t find a house, my business is tanking, there’s a global pandemic and I’ve got terminal cancer. But you know… worse things happen at sea. Not much worse, but worse.” That’s my husband talking and we both find it funny. We lurk in the dark corners of black humour when things are challenging, as theyContinue reading “Why sometimes we need to crack to let the light in”
Staying true to your values — why it will help you flourish
This blog was inspired by a Headspace video on the life of a peony. A plant like a peony looks dead in the winter. But below the ground, it’s still alive. The roots, the plant’s soul, wait patiently for spring and warm weather, sending up new shoots and starting the cycle of birth again. The roots giveContinue reading “Staying true to your values — why it will help you flourish”
The crucial art of telling your story
Storytelling is literally as old as time. And the people telling those stories were around long before historians. Nicholas Read studies indigenous Australian languages at the University of New England in Australia. In this fascinating article by Scientific American he says, “It’s almost unimaginable that people would transmit stories about things like islands that are currently underwater.” AndContinue reading “The crucial art of telling your story”
Why change is so hard to notice
How do we know what is changing in our world if we can’t see things moving? It’s a distressing situation for people with Akinetospia, a condition where you can’t process moving objects. One example is a 60-year old man who was struck on the head by a pole. Afterwards he couldn’t tell that his dog was running.Continue reading “Why change is so hard to notice”
“Why be happy when you could be normal?”
‘Normal’ has a lot to answer for. We humans like to belong and our mantra is ‘don’t stand out in case you’re cast out.’ Whilst there are wonderful exceptions, we mostly want to blend in. The worlds of fashion, beauty, tech (and plenty of others) would die if we didn’t. Look the same, be the same. Just.Continue reading ““Why be happy when you could be normal?””
Having a ‘calling’: why it’s not always a good thing
Lesser Water Boatman. A beautiful name for a bug. Corixa punctata have bodies shaped like boats and legs like oars. Gold coloured backs and red eyes that darken with age. These tiny creatures skate effortlessly across the water like they’re flying. Olympians diving, punctuating the surface, leaving just a ripple. They feed on algae at the bottomContinue reading “Having a ‘calling’: why it’s not always a good thing”
Running away or running towards? Why it’s important we know the difference
“I was much further out than you thought. And not waving but drowning.” Stevie Smith From a distance it’s hard to know why someone is running. Are they fleeing from or racing to? To the casual observer they look the same. It can be equally baffling to the runner. Some of my Spoon by Spoon interviewees areContinue reading “Running away or running towards? Why it’s important we know the difference”
Why you don’t have to fake it until you make it!
“Fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging… doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” Brené Brown The mantra ‘find your tribe’ is aContinue reading “Why you don’t have to fake it until you make it!”
Stuck in a career change rut? Here’s how to get out
We’ve been cooped up for months. Cheek by jowl with our nearest and (not always) dearest. Holding our tongues, staying calm, being a grown-up when we’d rather throw our toys out of the pram. It’s hard at the best of times, worse still if we don’t like our job. Rome wasn’t built in a day.Continue reading “Stuck in a career change rut? Here’s how to get out”
Old dog, new tricks: why it’s never too late to learn something new
Neuroplasticity is the new kid on the block. It’s been around for a long time, but it’s having a second wind. A bit like the Rolling Stones. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change itself. When it’s injured or diseased it can re-route traffic to avoid roadblocks, re-organising cells or re-mapping whole areas. Neuroplasticity isContinue reading “Old dog, new tricks: why it’s never too late to learn something new”
The power of words: why we need to choose them wisely
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Language is a strange one. We assume it brings us together, but sometimes it pushes us apart. It can make us feel connected but it can also reveal how different we are. ‘Lost in translation’ stories can often make us laugh. ThereContinue reading “The power of words: why we need to choose them wisely”
How to rise from the ashes of the pandemic
My husband runs a small business focusing on the arts. It’s a sector in a death spiral and his clients are either in hibernation or dying. So his business needs a lift. He applied for a government backed Bounce Back loan but took his bank 60 days to respond. The computer came back with aContinue reading “How to rise from the ashes of the pandemic”
How the art of patience can turn your life around
Patience is a virtue. Virtue is a grace. Grace is a little girl who never washed her face. If I ranked the high points in my life, this wouldn’t be the top. It’s not an Oscar moment, or an exciting anecdote to tell the grandchildren. But it’s a slice of time that tells a tale.Continue reading “How the art of patience can turn your life around”
The career-shifting tale of the Silverfish, the Grasshopper and the Butterfly
Metamorphosis is a useful metaphor for career change. I was researching it for a previous blog and discovered there are three types in the insect world. Insects like silverfish are ametabolous and only change a bit — mostly they just grow larger. Grasshoppers and crickets are hemimetabolous and evolve from egg to nymph to adult. The changeContinue reading “The career-shifting tale of the Silverfish, the Grasshopper and the Butterfly”
Was your lockdown a hibernation or a transformation?
hibernate /ˈhʌɪbəneɪt/ verb (of an animal or plant) to spend the winter in a dormant state (of a person) to remain inactive or indoors for an extended period Animals hibernate when it gets colder and food starts running out. Their metabolism drops and they go into a state of torpor. Months later, when they emerge,Continue reading “Was your lockdown a hibernation or a transformation?”
Where to go for advice. And it’s not your family.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. Please excuse the language. This is Philip Larkin pulling no punches in his poem, This Be The Verse. He wrote it in 1971, butContinue reading “Where to go for advice. And it’s not your family.”
Career Advice in 6 Seconds
Brevity is the new black. OK it’s not very new, but it’s definitely very popular. I wrote a 250-word blog a few weeks ago, a two-minute read that seemed to go down well. In our time-poor/attention-deficit world anything beyond a tweet is seen as overkill. We’ve come to believe that more than a page willContinue reading “Career Advice in 6 Seconds”
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